November 6th, 2016
You know those days that just remind you how good it is to be alive? Today was one for me. I started the morning energized and early (despite an anxious night’s sleep), met up with an old friend at one of my favorite spots for brunch, experienced serendipitous connections walking around the city, and finally accomplished a days work with smooth sailing. Not only that, but my husband brought me my favorite pesto salmon and a little massage over my break. Days like today are like the proverbial rainbows after the storm.
A few days ago, I also experienced an incredibly healing conversation with my mom. It wasn’t a long hoopla of apologies and emotion. It was a simple, “this is why I didn’t tell you what I needed…I’m sorry” with reciprocated compassion. It was likely the most mature conversation I’ve ever had with her. Basically, she and I have had a volatile relationship most of my life. I would like to say that its because she’s fantastic at holding a grudge- but the truth is that I have had a tendency to harvest my hurt by denying my offense and holding the stick to her when she gets crazy. But for some reason, I feel like those days are over for us. Maybe we’ve both just gotten old enough to realize life is too short to nurture bitterness. Whatever this place is, I’m happy to know we’ve discovered it.
Over all, this fall season, like most magical autumns, is bringing on the magic. I’m feeling a flow of life that presents challenge, growth, and even if just an illusion, some sort of consistency. The struggles are real, but somehow, that Bible verse about suffering producing character is possibly proving to be truer than I assumed.
Furthermore, after giving some thought to why I began this blog, I’m finding that it truly is my journey into fearless living. I’m surrounded by so much goodness that it’s difficult not to feel beautiful gratitude for this place and time- without the insistent criticism I’ve used to beat myself into conformity. Even if it’s just for today, life is good and magic thrives on.
Here’s a little bit by Alan Watts that I think pairs well with this day-
“The mystical experience is nothing other than becoming aware of your true physical relationship to the universe, and you are amazed, thunderstruck by the feeling that underneath everything that goes on in this world, the fundamental thing is the state of unbelievable bliss.”